Self-Seeking Versus Unselfishness

"The world is so full of people who are grabbing and self-seeking. So the rare individual who unselfishly tries to serve others has an enormous advantage."   Dale Carnegie wrote that line in his book How to Win Friends and Influence People. The line comes right after he describes a day where he encountered two … Continue reading Self-Seeking Versus Unselfishness

The Difference Between Appreciation and Flattery

Flattery can be dangerous. It is nice to be flattered, but it can be distorting, can lead one to make rash decisions, and can make you overconfident and close-minded. We all want to be appreciated in our lives for what we do, but we should keep our guard up to recognize when someone is trying … Continue reading The Difference Between Appreciation and Flattery

Helping Others and Getting Beyond Selfishness

The selfish mind wants everything for itself. It pursues pleasures, seeks more material goods, more food, more attention, and more recognition for its own gain. Happiness, the selfish mind tells itself, is having more and enjoying more. Easy leisure is the number one desire, especially when combined with plush and fancy material possessions that signal … Continue reading Helping Others and Getting Beyond Selfishness

A Final Thought on Charity

One of Robin Hanson and Kevin Simler's closing thoughts in their chapter about charity in The Elephant in the Brain reads, "The forms of charity that are most effective at helping others aren't the most effective at helping donors signal their good traits. And when push comes to shove, donors will often choose to help themselves." … Continue reading A Final Thought on Charity

Do What Is In Us

Lord of the Rings can be read as a reaction against the industrial age, a reaction against military might, and a reaction against colonial conquests. The most clean, well functioning, and happiest places in the book are places of nature, where hobbits live peacefully with plenty in the shire, and where elves live with wisdom … Continue reading Do What Is In Us

Benefitting from Doing Good for Others

A quote from Marcus Aurelius that I keep returning to is “When thou hast done a good act and another has received it, why dost thou still look for a third thing besides these, as fools do, either to have the reputation of having done a good act or to obtain a return?” The quote reminds … Continue reading Benefitting from Doing Good for Others

Trying to Change Others

Author Colin Wright has an interesting perspective of the efforts we make to try to change other people in his book, Some Thoughts About Relationships. For Wright, trying to change the person in our relationships is a very selfish act, limiting the growth of the other person and of ourselves, and preventing both of us … Continue reading Trying to Change Others