Sharing what I have learned from what I have read: A blog by Joe Abittan
Humans are gossip machines. We like to talk about and think about other people, especially the negative traits and qualities of others. At the same time, we are self-deception machines. We downplay our own faults, spend little time thinking about our mistakes, and deny any negative quality about ourselves. Even when we are the only … Continue reading Gossip Machines
A principle that Dale Carnegie expresses in his book How to Win Friends and Influence People is, "Show respect for the other person's opinions. Never say, You're Wrong." Telling someone directly that they are wrong doesn't do much for us. What it does is put the other person in a defensive position by threatening … Continue reading Consider Other People’s Opinions Seriously
In his book How to Win Friends and Influence People, Dale Carnegie shares a story about a tax consultant and an argument that the consultant had with a government auditor. The two were in a heated debate over a relatively small sum of money and whether it was assessed and taxed properly. A shouting match … Continue reading Arguing for Importance
In his book How to Win Friends and Influence People, Dale Carnegie includes the short story Father Forgets by W. Livingston Larned. The story is told from the perspective of a father, in roughly the 1920s/1930s, reflecting back on his day while standing at his sleeping son's bedside. The father thinks about the times he … Continue reading Think About Your Measuring Sticks
It is popular today to have strong opinions about the shortcomings and moral failures of other people. Democrats will gobble up news about the crazy things our president does and says, people who work will be quick to call out the laziness in others, and it is easy to condemn the greed and excesses of … Continue reading Understanding and Forgiving
I have a hard time understanding where the balance between being critical of someone versus being supportive and encouraging of them lies. There are many things we all fall short with, and in many ways, what we need is not a kick in the rear, but some guidance and support to be better. However, sometimes … Continue reading Criticism Backfires
In his book Ego is the Enemy, author and super reader Ryan Holiday gives us lots of examples of the ways in which our ego can lead us astray and tear down the things we are trying to accomplish. Holiday explains that part of why the ego is dangerous is because it damages our relationships … Continue reading The Destructive Ego – Lessons from Jefferson Davis and Napoleon
"The art of taking feedback is such a crucial skill in life," Ryan holiday writes in his book Ego is the Enemy. If we are honest with ourselves, which is hard and uncomfortable, we see that we are not quite as great as we like to believe and we don't exist in the center of … Continue reading Criticism and Ego
I remember reading Meditations by Marcus Aurelius and highlighting a segment where Aurelius encouraged us not to judge others because we have the same propensity for negativity and mistakes as anyone around us, and often times it is not our will alone that stops us from behaving in the same way as those that we … Continue reading Compassion and Awareness
It seems to me that a great deal of human outcomes are shaped by society in ways that are not always clear or obvious. Beyond arguments of nature versus nurture, our daily actions seem to be limited, encouraged, prevented, or otherwise influenced by our society and culture. What society tells us is desirable and acceptable … Continue reading Societal Expectations and Outcomes