Tag: Goals

Tips for Visualization

Posted on by jabittan
In his book 59 Seconds, Think a Little Change a Lot, Richard Wiseman debunks many myths about how to be effective, institute change in your life, and achieve your goals.  Wiseman is a professor of psychology at the University of Hertfordshire in the United Kingdom.  He studied the scientific literature searching for journal articles that outlined experiments related to the ideas in many self help books to see exactly which ideas and techniques had any true value.

 

Early on in his book Wiseman explains an often referred to study done at Harvard University.  In the study young men were asked if they had written down their goals for life, and then they were followed throughout their journey and their success levels were measured.  Incredibly the 3% of students who had clearly written out their goals had become more wealthy and successful than the other 97% combined.  This is a powerful story for visualization, goal setting, and writing out exactly what you want, but Wiseman explains that this study never happened.  He went searching for the research and the actual scientific journal article from the study, only to find out that it was all just a popular myth.

 

Wiseman then decided to look into what goal setting and visualization practices had been scientifically shown to produce results.  His findings for visualization are as follows:

 

“According to the researchers, visualizing the process of studying proved especially effective at reducing exam-related anxiety and helped students better plan and manage their workload.  Subsequent research has shown that the same effect occurs in several different areas, with, for example, tennis players and golfers benefiting far more from imagining themselves training than winning.”

 

The first study mentioned in Wiseman’s quote involved college students and their testing and studying strategies.  Psychologists Lien Pham and Shelly Taylor asked groups of students to either visualize themselves receiving a good grade on a test, or they asked them to visualize themselves studying so that they would get a good grade on the test.  This who visualized themselves acing the exam studied less and received worse grades than those who pictured themselves working hard and studying well.

 

Wiseman continues to explain that visualization has been shown to be even more powerful when we view ourselves from the third person perspective, as if we were someone else watching our actions.  Work by Lisa Libby at Ohio State University showed that individuals who viewed themselves going to the polls to vote were more likely to actually go vote if they pictured themselves from a third person perspective rather than from their own point of view.

 

The research seems to suggest that visualizing the process from a third person perspective as opposed to visualizing the outcome is more useful.  We will all hit hurdles and need a certain amount of grit to persevere, and Wiseman’s research shows us how to incorporate that “grit” mindset.  Visualization practices give us is the chance to imagine ourselves working hard to push past the obstacles and put in the effort necessary to reach our goals.  Focusing on just the outcome may drive motivation, but when the outcome seems to shift or be out of reach we can become more depressed than motivated, and we are more likely to abandon our path. Looking ahead and picturing the hurdles and seeing ourselves press through the hard work is the secret to visualization that gives us the grit needed for success.

The Benefit of Journaling and Writing

Posted on by jabittan
In his book 59 Seconds Richard Wiseman continually returns to the idea of writing and journaling when trying to overcome obstacles, become more creative, and reach ones goals.  Towards the beginning of the book Wiseman discusses a study in which participants were asked to either talk to another person to express themselves, journal for a few minutes a few days a week, or just continue on as they always had while the experimenters examined them over long period of time.  The study found large benefits for those who spent their time writing as wiseman explains,

 

“Thinking can often be somewhat unstructured, disorganized, and even chaotic.  In contrast, writing encourages the creation of a story line and structure that help people make sense of what has happened and work toward a solution.  In short, talking can add to a sense of confusion, but writing provides a more systematic solution-based approach.”

 

The subjects of the experiment had all experienced a traumatic event in their lives, and those who spent time writing through what happened, as opposed to those who had done nothing or talked to another about their feelings, found the most traction in getting to a new way of thinking about the traumatic experience.  I believe that this plays into every part of our lives and can make a big impact in how we are feeling on a day to day basis.  Wiseman returns to studies related to journaling throughout his book and explains how anticipating obstacles and writing about them can help one be more prepared for the journey towards their goals. He also writes about the benefits of journaling about the things you love about your loved ones as a way to move forward in your relationships with a more open and loving attitude.

 

One small area in which I have taken Wiseman’s advice for writing and applied it to my own life is in a simple journaling exercise that helps me be aware of the lucky things that happen in my life. I keep a luck journal and every night before I go to bed I reflect on what happened that day that was positive and in some way lucky for me.  This puts me in the right mindset as I prepare to go to sleep and helps me be thankful for the good things that have happened.  I can feel more content with my “luck” at the end of the day and instead of going to bed fearful for something that is coming up.

 

Throughout 59 Seconds Wiseman explains that writing, more than any other activity, helps build new connections in the brain.  It is slower than speaking, even when you are typing at a million miles per hour, and it forces your brain to slow down and be more considerate.  When writing you have the time to think an idea through and find the best way to communicate that idea.  This reinforces the thoughts and connections you had already developed, and gives you a new chance to combine thoughts and ideas and to find new connections.

Human Speech

Posted on by jabittan
The last section I highlighted in James Harmon’s book, Take My Advice, was written by writer Chris Kraus who spoke mostly of obsession in her letter to Harmon.  Near the end of her letter Kraus wrote, “Human Speech is driven, always, by the desire to achieve a goal. Realize you are constantly being manipulated.”  When we look at political speeches we are good at understanding that there is a goal or agenda behind the rhetoric used by politicians, but I am not sure we extend that to a lot of other areas in our life. Television and commercials are nothing but influence machines, and speech in the workplace often focuses on what we want or need others to do for us.  I think a big area where I am able to grow from this quote is by reflecting on my own speech.  By building a base of self awareness I can think more about what I say and evaluate what goal lays beneath my speech.

 

Krause also writes, “Nothing exists without a source. It is important to contextualize everything.”  I think this is important to consider when we are looking at the goals behind other people’s speech. The more focus and awareness we have the better we can be at understanding what goals people have, but keeping Kraus’s second quote in mind helps us see that there is a deeper level than just the goals of another person.  We can dive even deeper and start to evaluate where the other person’s goals came from, and just what they will gain when they reach those goals.  Seeing the context behind the goals will help us understand the motivation for others, and will help us react better to the other’s attempt to manipulate us.  If their goal is positive and pure, then jumping on board to help them and follow their goals may not be a bad idea.  If their motivation is purely self serving then perhaps it is better if we shy away from their goals and influence.

Seeing the Obstacles

Posted on by jabittan
Vera Countess von Lehndorff continues in her letter to James Harmon for his book, Take My Advice, to write about self confidence, striving towards our goals, and persevering through the difficult moments.  She writes, “Believe in yourself and be determined in all activities as you strive for your accomplishments.  Do not give in to despair in your weak moments or when you feel discouraged.”  In my mind  I can combine this viewpoint with Richard Wiseman’s discussion about visualizing success and journalism.  Wiseman in 59 Seconds: Think a Little, Change a Lot, wrote about the scientific backing to the advice in many self help books.  When it came to moving forwards towards our goals, the research shows that those who journal are more likely to reach their dreams.
Wiseman offers us a way to actualize the advice from von Lehndorff. Believing we can accomplish something is a huge first step, and it requires creativity and imagination to put us in a place where we see possibilities and a future that we want to pursue. We are able to look past the challenges that will hinder us as we journey towards our goals, and this can help us build more motivation for chasing those goals.  What Wiseman advises, is that we pause at the outset of our journey to examine and understand not just what goals we want to pursue, but what difficulties will arise in chasing those goals.  We will all struggle and hit obstacles, but if we have a plan for how we will overcome obstacles, then the challenges become less daunting when we actually face them.
Von Lehndorff encourages us to fight through despair, but does not offer any insight in preparing for or overcoming that despair.  She is aware of the fact that we will have moments when we are weak and unable to perform at our maximum level and seems to encourage us to push through the doubt with increasing action.  Following the science and journaling about not just the positive points of the journey, but how we will face the challenges will prepare us to fight through the difficult moments we may or may not be aware of.

Greatness and Ego

Posted on by jabittan
Vera Countess von Lehndorff wrote a letter to James Harmon for his book, Take My Advice, and in her letter she discusses goals, ambitions, talents, and our journey.  She encourages us to have courageous goals, but she also brings in a bit of self awareness with out goal setting. “You want to be the greatest? You want to just feed your ego? That’s not so great.”  This quote is her response to lofty goals and visions of success.

 

When I read over this quote I think about the goals that I have had throughout life, and how many of them are less about me, and are in one way or another more about fulfilling other people’s expectations and looking impressive.  These types of goals promise us a land where we will feel high and mighty because we will gain the respect and admiration of others as a result of our greatness. However, these goals may not always be aligned with our true purpose or talents, and pursuing them relentlessly could cost us our peace of mind, happiness, and relationships.

 

For me, building habits of self awareness and learning how to look inwards to examine my goals has helped me understand where my goals originated. When I began to examine my goals I found I pursued some because society had determined that they were lofty and valuable.  When I return to von Lehndorff’s quote I can see the ways in which pushing towards goals that simply feed an ego are more damaging than positive for the individual and the world.  Losing sight of other people to pursue a goal that will build your ego will direct you to a place where people may be impressed by your title or your material possessions, but you may risk jeopardizing true friendships along the way.  If you set out on a goal that only serves your ego, you also risk missing the chance to provide something meaningful and unique to the world. I am currently reading The Go-Giver by Bob Berg, and Berg would agree with this point of view.  He would argue that you can provide value and find success by chasing goals that only serve yourself, but that in order to reach a level of stratospheric success you must focus more on the value you provide to others.  This means that you must forget about your own ego and find goals that serve others as much as yourself.

 

Ultimately, I believe the problem with chasing a goal fueled by ego is the likelihood that you will burn out.  You run the chance of pushing yourself into situations that serve your ego rather than your purpose, and you miss out on actively working towards  goals that excite you and fuel a passion. In the end, aiming for greatness takes you away from happiness because your ego is built by your accomplishments and outside recognition.  If you abandon ego and learn to operate without requiring the praise and admiration of others, you can find a level of greatness where you understand that you are great independently of outside recognition and ego serving applause.

Giving Ourselves Permission

Posted on by jabittan
Ever since I reached the halfway point in my college career, when I began to feel pressure to decide what I wanted to do to earn a living after graduation. Many times along my journey, I have been overwhelmed with the fear of not choosing to do the right thing. I want to put myself in a position where I can live comfortably, enjoy my work, and have time to do thing I am interested in, such as running, hiking, writing, producing the Blue Pulse Podcast and spending time with friends and family.  In order to get to this point, I feel like I have had to practice a lot of self awareness to help me understand what exactly I desire, why I desire what I do, and whether or not those things should be a priority in my life.  Adjusting what I considered a comfortable lifestyle and enough money to reach that lifestyle has been difficult, but striving for greater self awareness has helped me realize what expectations for a comfortable lifestyle are unrealistic. In the same way, improving my self awareness has helped me see how much of a roll my own ego plays into my desires to be active and healthy, and my desire to have a good career/title.
For me, self awareness has helped me understand and recognize the barriers to my own happiness, but has not completely solved my internal questions, anxieties, and doubts.  However, a quote from Allison Vesterfelt in her book Packing Light, has helped me begin to reach a better place. “Here’s permission to live your life, not dictated by fear of what might happen.” This quote was recently echoed to me in a podcast by Brett Henley. In episode 6 of the Mindful Creator Podcast he sat down with Berni Xiang who spoke about giving ourselves permission to be the person we want to be now.
I can take Vesterfelt’s quote and combine it with Xiang’s idea to create a new mindset for myself. Instead of allowing my self-doubt and fears for the future to take over and shape the decisions I make, I can give myself the freedom to be the person I am now, and also the person I want to be in the future.  By sitting down and telling myself that I do not have to live my daily life worrying about what I may have in the future, I can combine permission with self awareness to see that no one is holding me back from applying my talents and abilities.  This means that starting right now, I can be the person I want to be in the future.

Success & Judgement

Posted on by jabittan
The next quote from Allison Vesterfelt in her book Packing Light is one that has proven to be hugely important for me recently.  She wrote, “We can’t measure the value of our decisions based on outcomes.” This simple idea was true for Allison before she took her 50 state road trip, and over the course of her journey it held up.  In my life this idea connects back to our American image of success, and the importance of money in determining success.  Listening to a recent podcast, I can’t remember which podcast or who may have been the guest, the guest on the show said that we tend to make judgements about people and gage how successful of a person they are based on their income. He said that we do this not because it is the best metric of success, but because it is the easiest. Money he said is not always the right way to measure success, and wealth accumulation is not the best way to judge our value.
For Vesterfelt the quote represented the idea that we do not always have to make decisions on what actions we will take with an end goal in mind. For instance with this blog, I don’t have to worry about having followers and achieving any outcome, it is simply a place for me to reflect on what I have read, and process my thoughts as I revisit and write them.  In my personal running, each run does not have to have a desired calorie burn level, and the end goal of running consistently does not have to be winning races. If I approach running as each day getting the opportunity to do something that feels good and that I enjoy doing, then in the end I will be more successful. Somehow this idea is easier to apply to the non-monetized aspects of our lives. I struggle daily with understanding the value of individuals, and seeing people as successful, even when their bank account, car, house, and clothes do not align with the American standard of wealth and success.

Fear & Goals

Posted on by jabittan
“After all, we’re all scared of wanting something.” I think this quote from Allison Vesterfelt is a good place for us to base our views of ourselves and others.  Too often I find that it is easy for me to look at other people and ignore the fact that they want something, an object, a promotion, to be in better shape, or to be more confident, and think of them as self content bubbles without goals or motivation. I think that it is important for us to look at the things that scare us, and ask why we are afraid of those things. Are they things we desire but are not sure how to take the first step towards action? Are they things we desire but are afraid to tell others we want? Are they things we desire but we fear that they do not fit in with the identity that we have created for ourselves?
Understanding your own fear of attaining something, and identifying the ways in which that fear lacks a true base can help you overcome it. You may find that the fear does not go away, but that you find a new way to be confident about your goals because you know that the fear you bring with you is irrational and can be overcome.
This quote also helps me see other people in better ways. I try hard to look at someone and see that they have interests in certain areas and goals and desires related to those interests. Perhaps once one masters that, they begin to be the person who can help connect people with the paths towards their goals and desires, I do not know because I am not at that point.  For me, understanding the fear that I have and how it affects me, helps me to remember that other people may face the same or greater fears, and once I understand the base of my fear I can better see that the fear that other people have may be based on something more concrete than the anxious worries of my fear.