Tag: Growth

Our Shifting Views

Posted on by jabittan
Often times we adopt specific views on issues, ideas, and expectations in our lives, and we do not want to allow those views  to change. In some areas, such as politics, we have a negative impression of people who say their views change. We hold politicians to strict standards where they are expected to maintain the same views on all issues throughout their career.  Colin Wright, in his book Considerations, has a different idea regarding our views, “Views are temporal things, shaped by the exact perspective from which we perceive the world; a perspective that shifts every moment.

 

I really enjoy the way that Wright creates a distinction between our views and our perspective. Our background, experiences, underlying beliefs both conscious and unconscious, our socioeconomic status and so many other factors influence our perspectives.  When we do not know much about a particular topic or issue we are likely to have a very peripheral perspective and when we have studied in depth or felt the direct experiences of an issue or topic we will have a far more profound perspective.  It is from our unique perspectives that we interpret the world, and it is from our perspective that we develop our specific views on the events, thoughts, and beliefs that shape our world.

 

As we age, learn more, and gain new experiences our perspective on the world will naturally shift. By looking at our views through the perspective model that Wright explains, there is no way that our views can remain the same as our perspectives shift.  We may maintain very similar views, but out of the necessity, or views should adapt and differentiate. I enjoy bringing this back to politics because it is an area where the we should see individuals’ perspectives and views on constantly change and evolve, yet we do not allow politicians to shift their views.  It is impossible to elect a politician and expect that once they are on the job, studying issues and learning from research, that their views will remain unchanged. Throughout science as we grow and learn our views change, and this mindset should be applied to our personal lives, what we expect from our government, and the ways we approach other people.

The Expectations of Others

Posted on by jabittan
In his book Considerations Colin Wright addresses a topic that was very important for me to work through as I got through college. About halfway through my college career I began to really examine what I wanted to achieve from college and what I expected my life to be like. I faced quite a bit of anxiety and fear related to the questions of what I would achieve and what I needed to obtain in my life for me to consider myself successful.  Eventually I developed enough self-awareness to reflect on the things I assumed I would always have in my life and the things that I thought defined success. Through self-awareness  was able to recognize that many of the expectations I had for my life came from other people, particularly my parents, uncles, and shows like Top Gear. I knew that I had to live my life by moving toward things that I actually desired and considered successful, even if I felt as though it would not live up to the standards I had set in my head without consideration.  What I learned on my own is beautifully summed up by Colin Wright in just a sentence, “It’s not your responsibility to want the life that others want for you, and it’s not your responsibility to take on the responsibilities that don’t sync with how you want to live.”

 

What I eventually learned was that I could not let the expectations for my life that others had for me dictate how I lived. I would never be happy if I tried to always live my life in a way that was impressive to others. I would always be competing against my peers, family members, and society if  was trying to please someone else and live a life that they determined to be successful.  By deciding that I would not be tethered to their expectations, I no longer felt a responsibility to obtain a certain level of wealth or drive certain vehicles which would display that level of wealth and success wherever I went.

 

It is a difficult process to begin to understand that it is not our responsibility to live our lives in a way that makes others happy with us, or to achieve a certain expected level of success. It is our responsibility to focus on growth and being the best version of ourselves possible, as long as that version of ourselves truly aligns with our inner self. We must develop a sense of self awareness to understand what is and what is not in alignment with who we are at our core, so that we can live a life that is responsible to ourselves and not others.

Compete with Yourself

Posted on by jabittan
On of the most difficult things to maintain in life seems to be a sense content with where we are. As we age we have new opportunities, move through different situations, and experience vast change. Throughout all of this we watch as our lives move in new directions, and as the lives of those around us move in new directions.  It is easy to feel accomplished when you achieve something, but that sense of accomplishment soon dies off, especially if you are comparing your accomplishments to those of your neighbors, peers, co-workers, and high school classmates.

 

In his book Considerations, author Colin Wright discusses our competition with others and the way we compare ourselves to those around us.  In Wright’s perspective, it is best to judge ourselves according to our own performance and standards. The author writes, “rather than the standards changing with the performance of my peers, the only person I’m competing with is myself. And so long as I continue to grow, I’m winning.” His perspective means that we do not have to achieve the same level of financial success, marital success, or career success as other people to still be successful.

 

When we focus on our personal growth we are building a sense of self-awareness. We have to focus on where we are now, where we used to be, and what areas we can improve. This self-awareness helps us identify the change we want to see, and allows us to focus in new directions that align with the right change.  When we lack this self-awareness and compare ourselves to the successes of others, we fail to understand ourselves and where we can grow, and instead we feel limited because we did not achieve the same results of others.

 

Knowing where we are now and praising ourselves for our growth takes pressure off ourselves to achieve things immediately. I would love a promotion at work, but my expectation is not that I will be promoted within any specific time frame. My expectations are that I will continue to grow and improve each day and that I will prepare myself so that when an opportunity does arise, I am ready. That may mean that I will not get the next promotion opportunity (I may even be passed over for the next few promotion opportunities) but it does mean that my performance will continue to improve.  As my performance improves I will be able to strengthen my work and expand new skills to new areas, and even without a promotion I will gain the respect of not just my colleagues, but of myself. The growth that I focus on and am proud of will be recognized by those around me.

Life on Our Own Terms

Posted on by jabittan
Author Colin Wright discusses competition and the ways in which we compare ourselves to others in his book Considerations. Throughout his book, he focuses extensively on shifting our perspective and awareness inwards to better understand ourselves, and when it comes to goal setting, he advocates that we do this to ensure our goals are aligning with our inner self. If we don’t turn our reflection inward, we are not leading our life on our own terms and Wright writes, “do you want to measure yourself by the standards of others? Do you want to live your life by a metric determined by those you’re competing against?”

 

The quote above speaks to the ways we compare ourselves to those around us, and how limiting that can be. When we determine whether or not we are successful based on our performance relative to those around us we end up driving in a direction that does not lead us to true growth or the types of growth which would serve us best.  We end up pushing towards some end because it is what others in our group have determined to be desirable. That end may be positive and where we want to go, or it may fall in an area that is not aligned with what truly motivates us.  If we are working towards our goals simply to be more impressive than others or because we want to fit in with those around us, we will not be happy with the results we achieve.

 

Furthermore, when we are driving and competing with those around us we fail to see the larger picture.  Wright continues his explanation in Considerations by using the analogy of a footrace.  If you run a race and win, then you are now regarded as the fastest of that group who happened to be running on that day in that race.  You may achieve a goal in winning a race, but you may also be a big fish in a small pond, and relative to other runners in  the community you may  not be performing at a high level. Competing and winning in small groups may boost the ego, but it can also be a false feeling of success.

 

What Wright is establishing in his quote and his running analogy is the idea that success is not determined by the groups we are associated with and our performance in those groups. Driving towards success as defined by others does not help us reach places where we will find happiness and comfort. The way we reach a real level of success is by focusing on growth and learning how we can move ourselves forward in a positive direction that aligns with the inner motivations which we understand through deep self-reflection.

Living Well

Posted on by jabittan
In his book Considerations author Colin Wright focuses on growth and success and writes, “maybe focusing on growth — or the measurement of it — is missing the point of living well.” This quote speaks to me about the importance of not focusing on others and worrying about how we compare to others.  When we spend time worrying about others, what they achieve, what they drive, and how fancy their job title is, we either feel inadequate or we overinflated our ego.  What Wright is arguing is that all of these comparisons between us and our neighbors, co-workers, peers, and the other people in the grocery line distract us from focusing on what is truly important in life. At a more profound level, Wright’s quote also speaks about the importance of self awareness, and what we should use self awareness for.  Rather than analyzing ourselves and critically analyzing our level of growth, his quote seems to show that we would be better suited by finding ways to enjoy life and lead a positive life rather than living with a focus on constant growth. In this way it is as though the best way to growth is through an oblique path as opposed to a direct tangent.

 

Wright’s idea feels quite stoic to me and reminds me of Marcus Aurelius in many ways. I am currently working through Meditations and 2,000 years ago Aurelius was encouraging us to focus inwards on ourselves and not be tempted by desire for the things that others have which we do not.  When we are not worried about obtaining the same things that our neighbors have and when we do not spend all our time trying to impress others, we can connect with ourselves in a meaningful way, and move in a direction which fuels us for more positive reasons.

 

I think that both Wright and Aurelius would admit that there is a difficult balance to be maintained when it comes to self awareness and growth.  In previous posts I have written that establishing goals based around growth is a more effective way to guide ones life, but at the same time, focusing on growth as opposed to focusing on living a well rounded and meaningful life still will not guide an individual in the best possible direction. We are still measuring ourselves and making comparisons between our current self and past self along with others. Focusing on these changes and gaging whether or not they are the changes we want or expect of ourselves does not provide the meaning to our life that we should desire.

Successful Growth

Posted on by jabittan
While reading Colin Wright’s Considerations, I came across a short  sentence that read, “there’s no commonly accepted ranking system, and all a person has is their own interpretation of movement, their own ideas about how much they’ve grown.” Originally I had just highlighted the middle section of the sentence about our own interpretations of growth, and I had left myself a note reading, “growth is naturally movement.” In isolation this sentence speaks to me about our constant evolution through life, and the lenses through which we judge our changes.  We see our own growth in a way that is different from the way others see our growth, and in the end, all that matters for us is our interpretation of our personal changes and growth.

 

Placed back in the context of Wright’s book, the quote speaks to the difficulty of comparing people and success.  We all seem to want to grow toward a future that is more successful monetarily, but Wright argues that judging ourselves and others based on our income is a flawed way of gaging success.  He writes that we often use awards, recognition, and accolades to judge our value and growth, but the sentence above shows that there is no way to truly equalize and compare our growth and success.

 

When I look at myself and where I am from a standpoint of growth and movement, from the changes and evolutions I have experienced to what has remained constant or become stronger in my life, I do feel very successful. I can examine the movement in my life and be proud of the changes I have gone through even though I do not have the most impressive salary, have not won many awards, and am not a well known public figure.  Wright would argue that I am heading down a useful path where I understand my own interpretation of movement in my life, which will allow me to feel positive about myself as I direct my growth in a direction that aligns with who I truly am and want to be. Chasing growth in certain areas because it is impressive to others would likely not move me in a direction that aligned so well with my internal interpretations of the world.

Our Default Measurement of Success

Posted on by jabittan
Through my journey of self awareness and growth I have had to adjust my definition of success many times. As I have had new opportunities and as I have thoroughly reflected on myself and others it has been crucial for me to reconsider what success looks like. In his book Considerations Colin Wright examines the same thoughts and feelings that I have worked through. “In the post-Industrial Revolution world, money has become the default unit of measurement for growth and success and personal evolution.”

Wright explains that we fall back on income as a way of objectively measuring ourselves relative to others because it is a simple and common unit between everyone.  How much money we make, however, is not the greatest measurement to determine success, growth, and the quality of ones life. It is easy to imagine that you have moved forward in a positive direction by increasing your income, but it is possible that the direction in which you moved is limiting you in other ways: creativity, spending time with family, giving back, and maintaining social connections could be limited as one makes sacrifices to obtain more money.

Continuing on, Wright states that using money to judge the success of others is a mistake because not all of us shoot for increased wealth as our main goal. It is hard to judge ourself against others if we define success as a certain income level, the ability to purchase a certain car, or the size of the home we can afford, when those we judge ourselves against view success as increased knowledge, increased visibility in their field, or happiness in their relationships at home. Money also is a terrible way to judge our success because of the vast differences in our backgrounds and family histories.  If having a lot of money is our measure of success, then many people are successful by default thanks to a fortunate birth.

Comparing ourselves to others based on money sets us up for frustration and disappointment. Not having the best car, the biggest home, and the biggest pay check can frustrate us and make us feel inadequate. When we change success to align with our internal values and ideas we begin to work toward better goals. Rather than comparing ourselves based on an external measure that we don’t have direct control over, we begin to judge ourselves based on value that we create for areas of our life that have true meaning.  This means that we will not pursue the car we cannot afford or the house that is too large and we wont flaunt our financial success. Rather than pressuring ourselves into certain boxes, when we remove money from success, we are able to strive toward goals that help us develop in meaningful ways.

Reconsider

Posted on by jabittan
One of the ideas I loved in Colin Wright’s book Considerations is his approach to beliefs and belief systems.  Wright emphasizes awareness and flexibility in our beliefs, and encourages us to understand the assumptions and question we we unquestioningly take to be true.  For him, having a belief system that is locked in and unchanging can be damaging as it does not allow you to grow or let your viewpoint evolve.  In his book, the author writes about the value in actively challenging your beliefs and aligning your thoughts with things you learn as your perspectives grow.

 

Wright writes, “Only by establishing a habit of checking your own ideas can you be certain that at any given moment you’re making decisions based on the most up-to-date set of personal beliefs available.” This quote resonates with me because it aims right at self-awareness, which has been a major focus on mine the last few years. By focusing in on yourself and working to truly understand your thoughts you can find areas where you have opportunities to grow and become a better person. What Wright discusses in his quote is the importance of practicing awareness and making sure your decisions and actions align with your personal beliefs. Without a sense of awareness it is hard to develop a personal philosophy and act in a way that lives out that philosophy.

 

However, Wright is not just encouraging us to build a personal philosophy and stick to it as a rigid backboard for our life. In my previous blog post, “Valuable Possessions” I wrote about Wright’s belief that a personal philosophy that allows change and flexibility offers greater value to the individual.  Wright argues that we should constantly look for more information from valuable sources to learn and gain new perspectives. Through this process it is expected that we will begin to see the world in new ways, and as we take in more information we must allow our thoughts to shift so that we can grow. “There’s never a bad time to reconsider what you know to be true. Wright states, “No belief should be safe from your investigation, and all should be regularly revisited.” By continually pushing ourselves to challenge entrenched ideas, accepting that we can change and develop new viewpoints, and practicing self awareness, we can grow and develop in ways that make us more open and engaged in the world around us.

Impossible Questions

Posted on by jabittan
A few short pages into his book Considerations, author Colin Wright explains the book with the following, “This is not a how-to instructive tome, and you won’t find solutions to all of life’s problems in its pages, but you may find some tools worth using, which you can apply to your own life, your own questions, your own problems, your own perspectives.”  As soon as I read this quote I knew that I had picked up the right book.  Recently I have been working hard to understand other people, their ideas, beliefs, and views of the world, and what I have found is that adopting any single belief about the world and sticking to it is dangerous. Whether that belief is political, ethical, behavioral, or something else, it is dangerous to think that you are correct and that others are wrong, especially if you try to press that idea on to others.

 

What I have also begun to see is that there are many more gray areas in life than we want to live with.  In certain areas we want the explanations and truths to be simple, but in a world of multiple perspectives, backgrounds, and social choices it is difficult to pinpoint the best answer to anything.  What Wright explains in his quote above is that he does not have answers for us, but that he can help us reach better places of understanding. By considering new ideas and being open to change, we can better behave and grow in a way that answers the biggest questions we have.  When I read the quote above I left myself a note, “don’t search for answers, but search for important tools.”  Wright’s idea made me think of the value in living a full life and pursuing a full life through growth.  By looking to expand my toolbox for understanding life, I will reach a more satisfying place.  By looking for answers and truth, I will only feel more discouraged by the vast gray area and the lack of concrete solutions.

Valuable Possessions

Posted on by jabittan
Author Colin Wright tends to focus on the idea of perspective in much of his writing, often highlighting the importance of viewing the world from multiple perspectives. He discusses stepping outside your own expectations for the world and trying to understand the viewpoints of people in less fortunate situations than your own. He examines the ideas of people in other cultures and the thoughts of people in the past to help him better understand himself and the pressures he faces on a daily basis.  By adopting so many points of view and being able to see the world from multiple perspectives, Wright believes that we become more connected with the world, better able to connect with people around us, and more well rounded individuals.

In his book Considerations he writes, “I would argue that a well-curated collection of perspectives is one of the most valuable assets a person can possess. Not only does such a collection add richness to everyday life and present solutions to problems we didn’t know existed, it also provides the tools required to solve the big, heady, philosophical-and-hard-to-lock-down problems that all encounter at some point in our lives.”

I love this idea of perspective because it shows the importance of continual growth and learning. By living and accepting our single limited perspective, we allow ourselves to be isolated and unable to adapt as we move through the world with our lives constantly changing.  The adoption of a single view point shuts others out and does not allow us the ability to gain a greater understanding of our lives and the lives of those around us.

What Wright encourages is searching for new perspectives and constantly pushing ourselves by seeking ideas or experiencing cultures that challenge our viewpoint.  Seeking out information that reinforces our beliefs will not give us the same growth as finding information that challenges our perspectives and forces us to think more deeply about our perspectives.  Understanding that other people live with less, have different ideas of success, and face more challenges than we do can be a humbling experience. New perspectives may open us up to a world where we can make a difference in the lives of others, and it can help us have a greater appreciation and joy for our lives.  Living in a world with a singular perspective allows us to lose track of what is important in life, and can lead us in a direction guided by manufactured  ideas of success and happiness.