Category: James Harmon – Take My Advice

An Important Task

Posted on by jabittan
Scott Russel Sanders continues in his letter of advice for James Harmon’s book, Take My Advice, writing about self awareness, spirituality, and philosophical ideas.  Towards the end of his letter he writes, “To understand as well as we can who we truly are and in what sort of world we have been set down may be our most important task.”  What I like about this quote is that it takes away the importance of obtaining material things and addresses the questions or doubts that we all constantly sift through.  For Sanders, what he is showing in this quote is the value of objectively understanding ourselves, the world, and our place in it.
The first part of Sanders quote speaks to me about the purpose of self reflection.  Being able to think about what we are good at, what we enjoy and why, and what we truly want in life will help us find a path that is comfortable and appropriate for us.  This is a truly important task for each of us, because an increased self awareness will allow us to begin to live our lives intentionally rather than living in a reactionary way.  We do not have to chase the goals that our friends, the media, religion, and family tell us we need to chase. Self awareness and knowing who we are and what we truly desire will allow us to find a meaningful path to follow to a destination that we will be happy with.
The second half of Sanders quote seems to be a little more difficult in my opinion.  I have come across many people who write and speak about self awareness, and while the road to self awareness is bumpy and full of obstacles (especially when you first set out) the road to a true understanding of the world we are in is more challenging and subjective.  Self reflection (examining your goals, desires, motivations, and skills) takes practice and it can be hard to learn that life should not be judged by the sports car you drive, but there seems to be something more challenging about finding true sources for understanding the world.  We will each approach the world with different perspectives and experiences, and we will each appropriate separate values to ideas and topics.  I do not think we can honestly understand the world if we have not first mastered honestly knowing ourselves, and then it is a constant practice to source out the good and bad information.  I am not saying, and I don’t think that Saunders would either, that we should just look for positive information about the world, but that we should search for objective information about things that will actually matter and have meaningful impacts in the world.  With the avalanche of information on the internet, it is easy to get lost among fake news stories that do not represent the true world we live in.  At the same time we can all have so many unique niche interests that we investigate and learn about, and each of these interests build new experiences and perspectives through which we can understand the world.
I think that Sanders in reaction to my writing would say that the first step to fulfilling our important task on this planet is to understand ourselves, including our perspective and how our experiences have shaped our perspectives.  Next, Sanders would argue that we absorb as many other perspectives as possible, to help us begin to view the world in a new and meaningful way. This would involve vigorous research on our part to sift through the nonsense and gossip.

Appreciate Earth

Posted on by jabittan
Scott Russell Sanders writes about having a true sense of appreciation for Earth in his letter to James Harmon for Harmon’s book, Take My Advice: Letters to the Next Generation from People Who Know a Thing or Two. The advice he gives is what he constantly tells his children, and how he tries to live his life. The passage from his letter that I love about the planet is, “Remember that the Earth, with its manifold life, is primary, and we are secondary.  The Earth precedes us and will out last us.” In this quote Sanders is talking about how devastating we can be towards the planet when we live self-centered lifestyles and forget about life outside of ourselves.  Sanders continues, “The Earth has made us possible, and moment by moment it sustains us.”
What I take from this quote is the importance of having a true appreciation for everything on the planet.  Earth has provided us with nature, beautiful mountains, life sustaining rivers, and majestic coasts, but Earth has also given us places to build cities, the materials needed to surround ourselves in sheltered homes, and more.  For Sanders the important idea when we reflect on the Earth is the ability to make considerations about what is good for the planet.  When we only think of ourselves and are unwilling to make sacrifices to that will in the long run benefit the planet, we begin to damage the world we live in.
I don’t think that Sanders is asking us to abandon our well lit homes or get rid of our cars, but he is simply reminding us that we do not control the Earth as much as we like to believe we do.  His quote is more of a call to awareness than a call to action.  What Sanders is hoping we understand is that taking care of the planet, or at least making more decisions with the longterm health of the planet in mind, will help it sustain us for much longer.  The more we begin to appreciate Earth and understand how it provides what we need for life, the more likely we are to begin taking part in actions to clean and protect our planet.

Avoiding Self-Centeredness

Posted on by jabittan
“Don’t be self-centered.  The world is much bigger and much more interesting than you are.  If you spend your time thinking g about yourself, you forego most of what exists.”
The quote above is from Mark Helprin in the book, Take My Advice: Letters to the Next Generation from People Who Know a Thing or Two. James Harmon, the book’s author, solicited advice from independent film stars, writers, philosophers, and creative individuals, avoiding seeking the advice of celebrities and people who we might decide are highly successful based on their bank account.
I love this quote because it speaks to our position in a world that is full of interesting people and amazing places.  For me it is easy to get settled into a routine where I focus on what I am doing on a day to day basis, and I begin to get stuck in a rut.  What Helprin’s quote is urging us to do is to look out into the world and constantly explore, even if that means we are just reading, listening to podcasts, and exploring what others are doing and thinking.
Helprin’s quote tells us that our lives will be much more fulfilling if we can focus on others and see the world objectively rather than constantly worrying about ourselves and fixating on our personal being.  Worrying about our problems, feeling pity for our selves for our situation, complaining about our work, or feeling bored and stuck in a rut comes about when we close ourselves to the outside world.  When we put others first, focus on meeting new people, and can find a way to be grateful for the opportunities we have, then our lives begin to become more meaningful.  By interacting with others and focusing on them, their interests,  and trying to discover more about the world we see our place in the world with a more positive light, and we can become excited about what is going on around us.

Friendship

Posted on by jabittan
Continuing from my last post, philosopher W.V. Quine in his letter to James Harmon for Harmon’s book, Take My Advice, ends his letter with a note about friendship.  Quine writes, “Above all, cultivate easy and sincere friendships with kindred spirits and enter into them with generous sympathy.  Sharing is the sovereign lubricant against the harshness of life.”  I love this quote because it is all about putting others first so that one can build real relationships to not just serve themselves, but to serve everyone and help everyone enjoy their life to a greater extent.
Quine’s quote addresses the challenges and difficulties that result from the dull and tedious nature of hard work, and how friendships can ease those difficulties.  What he is saying is that good friendships, where neither person is trying to gain something from the other but both people are openly sharing, are what help people through the rough, mundane, and tedious parts of life.  What Quine is talking about is not the type of friendship where one seeks the help, advice, or aid of another simply for their own benefit.  The friendships which he discusses, the friendships which build meaningful relationships and help people overcome challenges, are built not on an expectation of returns, but on a true interest in knowing  another person.

Enjoyment

Posted on by jabittan
Philosopher W.V. Quine wrote a letter to James Harmon for his book, Take My Advice: Letters to the Next Generation from People Who Know a Thing or Two. In his letter the philosopher writes about cultivating curiosity, striving for a job that you enjoy as much as your leisure time after the job, and building meaningful friendships.  His letter is brief, but is full of wisdom that is easy to comprehend and powerfully reinforced in his writing.

 

In the first part of his letter he writes, “enjoy what you are doing, what you are seeing as fully as you can find anything in it to enjoy.”  When I first read this section I  thought about my “Luck Diary” that began after listening to an episode of Smart People Podcast.  I had listened to an interview with Richard Wiseman who wrote a book about the science of luck, and one of his recommendations was to keep a journal of ones lucky experiences from each day. The journal reminds me of what good things happen each day, so that I go to bed focused on positive events rather than the negative. It also helps me be thankful for experiences that I have on a daily basis, and for all the good things that happen to me in general.

 

I think that Quine’s message in the quote above is very similar to Bruce Benderson’s message in my previous post about finding enjoyment in all that we do.  Quine is encouraging everyone to find even the smallest pieces of the mundane tasks and chores of life that are enjoyable, and to savor those enjoyable pieces.  Quine continues on to encourage us to look for careers where the mundane tasks that we dislike are at a minimum so that we can enjoy the work we do almost as much as we enjoy our leisure time after work.  This strategy may make it a little easier to find the pieces that you enjoy, and focus on your luck for being around things that are enjoyable.

Art

Posted on by jabittan
Bruce Benderson talks about living a full life, even if others are critical of the way you live, in his letter to James Harmon for Harmon’s book, Take My Advice.  The quote from Benderson that I highlighted is, “Art is the radical decision to enjoy yourself at all cost.” When I reflect on this quote what I love is the idea of having a craft (drawing, writing, singing, bowling, etc…) and fully embracing and enjoying myself in the moment of executing a craft.  Benderson encourages us to think of our art as play, which to me means that we are always willing to try something new, change our approach, and look at things from new perspectives, because in the end our goal is not success as outsiders may define it, but the goal instead is a fullness that comes from expanding ones talent.

In his message is the idea that we can work our way forwards in our art or craft by remembering what it is we enjoy about the craft, and what pushed us to begin the craft.  I think we can also take this message and apply it to other areas of our life. Reminding ourselves what we love about our loved ones, the city we live in, and the job we have may help us appreciate those things.  I just finished a book called 59 Seconds: Think a Little, Change a Lot written by Richard Wiseman. In his book he writes about the scientific backing to strategies, ideas, and myths that are popular in self-help communities. What he pulled from scientific literature on happiness is the idea that people who sit down and write out their thoughts about what they love in another person or what they are thankful for in their life tend to be happier and have stronger relationships.

I think we can combine these two ideas and start to develop a greater appreciation for the life and craft that we have. We can focus on why we do what we love to do, and what we enjoy from the jobs we do to sustain ourselves and family.

Purpose

Posted on by jabittan
One of the writers who sent James Harmon a letter to be published in the book, Take My Advice, is Tom Bobbins. His letter is very short and focuses on refocusing and finding a way to keep mind, body, and soul in harmony.  Bobbins writes, “At least once a month, remind yourself that your purpose on earth is to enlarge your soul, light up your brain, and liberate your spirit.”

His message in this quote and throughout his letter is to take time to remind yourself of what is important in life, and to remember that the material goals that we all strive for are often not aligned with our spiritual goals.  Bobbin’s also writes, “repeat after me, “I’m not a Buick, I’m a Buddha,”” which shows his emphasis on being more connected with your spiritual self than your material possessions.

Last night with a friend I was discussing how quickly life seems to move once you have graduated from college. We get out of school and begin making more money and chasing important positions, nicer cars, bigger houses, and things to fill those homes with.  What we can lose sight of, and what Bobbins reminds us to stay connected with, is our bigger purpose on the planet, and the spiritual importance of being humble.  Living a life focused on BMW’s, the newest washing machines, and the latest apple products keeps us entertained, but it does not give us a sense of completion. That sense of completion Bobbins would argue, comes from knowing who we truly are, reconnecting with our spiritual selves, and understanding that life is about more than the ideas pushed into our minds from car commercials.

Avoiding Explosive Reactions

Posted on by jabittan
Towards the end of George Saunders’ letter for James Harmon’s book, Take My Advice, Saunders writes, “enter a new moral space in which the emphasis is on seeing with clarity, rather than judging.” He writes this as an explanation of his actions when someone is deliberately infringing upon his rights, intentionally damaging his property, or simply doing something that upsets him.  What he is explaining is that we can choose how we want to see a situation, and by adopting new perspectives we can make better decisions with how we react to other people’s actions.

 

Saunders in this quote reminds me of Paul Jun whose blog Motivated Mastery has been a huge inspiration for me.  Jun often writes about self awareness and self control, and being able to pause and think in situations where it is easy to become highly reactionary.  While Jun’s focus is internal, Saunders’ focus is more external. Both advocate for self awareness and self control, but Jun follows a more stoic mindset and encourages you to forget the other and not let their actions affect you, while Saunders encourages you to take action to protect yourself, but only if your actions are constructive as opposed to punishing or explosive.

 

What Saunders pushes for is a society that does not want people to instantly deem others as evil monsters.  His letter begins with a thought experiment that focuses on two babies born at the same time, but born to two very diffenet families. One child is born to a strong and supportive family, while the other is born into a broken home of drug addicted parents.  The child who grows up with an unsupportive family, in Saunders’ view, is not a monster,  but simply does not have the advantages and support needed to grow up in a way that society typically deems respectful and appropriate. Rather than creating more obstacles for that individual and finding excuses to judge their negative behavior, Saunders would advocate that we understand their past, and take constructive steps to prevent ourselves from being harmed by their bad decisions, but still accept who they are.  For him this involves a clear understanding of other people and their situation, and a willingness to be open minded so that we can invite these individuals into a conversation about how we can all create a better place.  Immediately judging others shutting them out of conversations to improve society by labeling them as evil monsters harms everyone in society, not just the individual who is excluded.

Advantages From Birth

Posted on by jabittan
When I was at the University of Nevada for my undergrad, I spent a semester studying Education. From a class titled Teaching Multicultural Diversity I learned just how important family support and social economic status can be for an individuals health, development, and academic success.  The statistics were hard to accept and fully believe, especially as an insecure college student who wanted to believe that all of the good things I did came as a result of my own hard work and not the fortune of others.  I was reminded of everything I learned in that class when  I came across the following quote from George Saunders in a letter he wrote to James Harmon for Harmon’s book, Take My Advice, “A fortunate birth, in other words, is a shock absorber”.
Saunders in his letter asks the reader to participate in a thought experiment.  He writes about two babies born at exactly the same time, but to very different families; one born to a wealthy and supportive family and the other born to a broken family of drug addicts. He asks us to imagine this scenario acted out a million times, and then asks us to imagine the future for all of the babies born to the “in-tact families” relative to the future of the babies born into broken homes.  What he explains is that both sets of babies will face many of the same challenges, but that the babies born to the supportive families will always have a level of support and comfort to help them bounce back, learn quicker, and receive better care than the other babies.  His ultimate point is that a fortunate birth can set up a life filled with advantages, and that no baby ever does anything to deserve a fortunate or unfortunate birth.
What I learned in my education class supported Saunders’ thought experiment. The biggest shock for me was this, the vocabulary for children entering first grade can vary from 10,000 words to 1,000 words.  What creates this 9,000 word gap has nothing to do with a child’s intelligence or aptitude, but more often than not the single deciding factor between a high and low vocabulary is a home filled with books.  Children with parents who read to them and send them to kindergarten will be closer to the 10,000 word vocabulary, while children whose parents do not buy them books and instead leave  them with  the television enter school with a vocabulary closer to 1,000 words.  If you read Malcolm Gladwell’s Outliers, he introduces the idea that birth plays an important factor in future athletic, academic, and even musical success.  A child who enters school with a 10,000 word vocabulary will receive more praise for their good reading skills, and as a result will continue to challenge themselves with reading and learning. Meanwhile, the child who entered school with 1,000 words will struggle and not receive additional attention for their strong academic skills, which in the end will leave them discouraged. This is the idea behind early childhood development for Gladwell. A lucky birth (good timing allowing a young athlete to be more developed at age 5, or being born into a home filled with books) can allow a child to receive not just more support from their family, but from society.
When we look at others who maybe are not as successful as us, I think it is worth remembering this idea.  We did not all have the same supportive parents and backgrounds. Sometimes the help we receive from family and our social economic surroundings allows us to overcome obstacles that others cannot. While it is difficult to accept and truly understand this, it will help us connect with more people and make a positive impact on the planet.

Working Together

Posted on by jabittan
Carolyn Chute wrote a letter for James Harmon’s book, Take My Advice, which is a collection of letters from creative artists, independent film actors, and writers and poets. In her letter Chute writes about coming together and finding true value in everyone.  Chute writes, “Another nice thing to try is forgetting everything you learned in public school.  Especially the competition part — the “there are winners and losers” part.  try to think in terms of working together.  EVERYBODY has an A+.”  What she is explaining with this quote is that public schools get us in a mindset of constantly comparing ourselves to others and competing in certain situations to see who can have the best grades and prove themselves to be special.  The problem with this style of competition and proving our self worth through school work is that it excludes some students based on their personality or skills. Chute continues, “Everyone’s A+ isn’t visible or marketable or reflected in their possessions, appearance, or social graces.” What she is speaking of is true from grade school through college, into the business world, and all the way to parenting.
The school situation that Chute referenced is a reflection of how we judge people in our society, and how we chose to evaluate the successes and failures of others.  In society we tend to judge people based on their financial success, how big their home is, and what type of car they drive.  We assume that the greater they are in these areas, the happier they must be, and the more successful their relationships and health must also be.  The school system builds this in by putting us in situations where everyone hides their failures, and hangs their A+s above their desk for all to see.  And what is worse according to Chute, “School recognizes only those things you can WIN at. or at the things you can do quietly at a desk.”  In much the same way, society only judges people based on an individual’s financial “wins”.
Judging a student as successful based solely on their ability to complete their multiplication tables or score well on a vocabulary test misses out on what makes that student unique, and does not reveal the student’s personality, character, or interpersonal skills.  Judging them on a few categories that are easily visible and simple to compare against others does not give us a full understanding of the value of the student.  What Chute does in her brief paragraph is help us realize that we fall into the same pitfall in society when we judge others based on their financial status and material gains.  Comparing outward financial projections is an easy way to compare our value against others, but it certainly is not the right way, accurate way, or meaningful way to determine who has been successful or lived a valuable life.  What Chute explains is that we can not approach the world from such an individualistic perspective because we must all be connected in order to build a better planet and establish society together.  Each one of us has special skills and abilities, and we should all be working to highlight the strengths of others as opposed to working to make our own skills stand out.