Month: July 2015

Allowing Mistakes

Posted on by jabittan
In James Harmon’s book, Take My Advice, Harmon shares a letter written by Arthur Nersesian in which Nersesian writes, “Advice is important, but no amount of it will keep you from occasionally making a bad move.”  He explains that what will happen as we grow is that we will have good and bad luck, and that our ability to deal with and adapt to our good or bad luck is what will matter the most.  Relying on other’s advice won’t always help you because the advice that others have to offer comes from the luck they have experienced, and how they handled it.  Nersesian continues, “…recover after making a bad move.  Forgive yourself quickly, learn something from it, and move on. “  His two quotes combine to show that it is ok if you make a mistake, as long as you can approach your mistake in the right way.

 

We have all heard about the importance of learning from our mistakes, but what I like about Nersesian’s quotes is that he does not approach the world from a perfect point of view.  He accepts that there will be mistakes, and encourages us not to constantly worry about making mistakes.  For him, avoiding mistakes is not the important part of life, which is an idea that I resonate with.  From my own experience I know that if I strive to do great things I will reach a point where I am in new situations, and I may not always handle things the best way. There may be points where I do not know what I need to do or what is expected of me, and I may stumble from a lack of preparation.  If I adopt Nersesian’s point of view, I can be more relaxed heading into these situations, because when I make a mistake I will have a chance to understand why, and move on from it with new advice to offer others.  If I dwell on my mistake and beat myself up for not being perfect, then I will be stuck in the past, and I will be more hesitant in the future when new opportunities arise.

Prescribed Happiness

Posted on by jabittan
In a letter of advice for James Harmon’s book, Take My Advice, Arthur Nersesian writes about the ideas our society has for happiness and success.  He argues that most people try to fit in to pre-defined ideas of success, and that we strive for an image of happiness set by things that influence us. Nersesian writes, “I think a lot of people feel unhappy because they don’t fit into prescribed notions of happiness.”
In Nersesian’s quote I see the importance of looking for our own path, and finding our true desires rather than following the ideas that society prescribes to us.  I am currently reading a book written by Colin Wright in which he explains that we have many things that influence us such as our parents, the media we consume, advertisements, and people around us.  What Wright argues, and I think Nersesian would agree with, is that these influences shape our desires and world views to fit what others want in our lives, as opposed to what we want in our lives.
Nersesian in his letter explains that we should not try to judge other people’s success by how well they fit into these prescribed notions of happiness or success. Advertisements and television shows would paint a picture of success that equals lots of money, good looks, and a sports car. At the same time, the images of happiness that bombard us through media and social media paints a picture of exciting trips, unique experiences, and a fully checked off bucket-list.  If we spend all our effort trying to reach these ideas of success and happiness then we are forgetting to ask ourselves what we actually want.  By turning inward and understanding what is important to us and why, we can begin to journey towards our own form of happiness without the pressure to be happy in the way that society envisions for us.

Finding a Role

Posted on by jabittan

In James Harmon’s collection of advice letters, Take My Advice, Dr. Laura Schlessinger writes, “Your role is to find out what your purpose is, and to face it with nobility, integrity, and courage.” She writes this after explaining that the meaning of life lies with our relationships and services to other people, and it is not hard to imagine that Dr. Schlessinger would consider everyones true role to be to find a way to make valuable contributions in the lives of others. Dr. Schlessinger follows her quote up with the idea of each person recognizing their importance to others and the universe, and each person finding a way to improve the universe one small action at a time.

In this sense, Dr. Schlessinger is bringing forth a new idea for each person finding their passion and mission in life. For me it has become trite to hear others talk about finding a true passion and using it to create a career. The problem is that not everyone has a strong business sense to monetize their career, and many people simply have a passion that they enjoy as a hobby and not a career. Deciding that you must be passionate about something, and that you must profit from that passion can ruin what it is you enjoy, or misguide you towards something that you merely enjoy but do not fee truly passionate about.

The advice that Dr. Schlessinger offers combats this idea of passion, because for her, our role is to find those who we can serve and discover solutions to improve what it is we dislike about our world. The end goal in finding a purpose according to Dr. Schlessinger is to become passionate about leaving a positive mark on everything, so that the world is better after you have passed through it. She removes the pressure from monetizing your passion, because we can always do something that will help improve the planet, and we can always live with the idea of helping others before ourselves.