Tag: Self Awareness

Improvement

Posted on by jabittan
Throughout his book Meditations, Marcus Aurelius presents us with very realistic ways to approach the world and think about our lives.  His philosophy of stoicism is based on self-awareness and a perception of the world that is not founded on emotion and desire, but is instead based on reason and rational thought.  This philosophy is folded into his thoughts about what we can change in the world, and is on display in the following quote, “It is a ridiculous thing for a man not to fly from his own badness, which is indeed possible, but to fly from other men’s badness, which is impossible.”

 

In this quote what Aurelius is truly writing about is our ability to change and improve ourselves, and our inability to change and improve other people. One of the guiding principles of Aurelius’ stoicism is the view that we can be  in complete control of our faculties of mind, and that through processes of self-awareness we can control our thoughts and perceptions.  When you focus on your own mind it becomes possible to recognize your good and bad behaviors and begin to make changes in the behaviors that you wish to avoid.  You may seek the guidance and wisdom of others to achieve the goals and changes that you want, but ultimately the only person who can change your thoughts and beliefs is you, because no one else can be in control of your rational mind.

 

Aurelius is showing us in his quote above that we should be more interested in improving ourselves than improving others. He recognizes that it is impossible for us to change another person when they are in control of their mind. We may provide them with additional information and explain the ways that we see and understand the world, but it is up to the individual to build change into their life.  Recognizing that we are powerless to truly change one another, Aurelius makes us question why we would spend time striving to do so.  We can focus on ourselves and try to change ourselves since our mind is within our control, but it is a waste of time and focus to look toward the errors of others and take actions to try to change them, especially if they are not aware of their misdoings.

To What Nature Leads Thee

Posted on by jabittan
In Meditations, written by Roman Emperor Marcus Aurelius, we are given an example of how to live a life guided by stoicism.  Aurelius contended that all rational beings should be self-aware and conscious of the world through which they move so that they can decide how they will behave.  Through self-reflection, focusing on the present, and recognizing our own thoughts, Aurelius believed that we could manage our perception of the world in a way that helps us become better stewards of our life.  With these principles he wrote, “Do not look around thee to discover other men’s ruling principles, but look straight to this, to what nature leads thee, both the universal nature through the things which happen to thee, and thy own nature through the acts which must be done by thee.”

 

His quote is meant  to encourage us to move forward without begin distracted by thoughts of others.  He wants us to spend time through self-awareness and self-reflection understanding what it is truly like to be us. By living in the present moment without fears of the future or memories of the past dictating our decisions, we can become more rational in our actions and behaviors, and we can be better judges of each moment and each decision that we make.  Understanding what our guiding principles are and folding them into our lives will help us succeed, but constantly searching out the guiding principles of others and nitpicking their moral character will distract and prevent us from growing into the best version of ourselves.

 

I think that one must walk a careful line when following the advice laid out by Aurelius in this quote. It is important to learn to judge the character of those around you and to recognize who is worth following. There are times when we must be able to identify those whose life view is in accord with ours so that we can work with them to achieve more than we can individually.

 

What the emperor’s quote really speaks about is avoiding spending all of ones time gossiping about others. We must learn from the good and bad of those around us, but if we spend all our time looking at the bad in others and focusing on the shortcomings of those in our lives, we will miss the good, and we will be limiting ourselves when we could focus on our own journey and growth, and how we can build from what we learn from others.

Understanding Yourself

Posted on by jabittan
Marcus Aurelius, the Roman emperor during the years 161 to 180, kept a journal that he continually returned to with all of his thoughts and values. His journal was published after his death as a collection called Meditations, and in his journal he makes constant references to the importance of self-control, self-reflection, and rational thought.  He combines these ideas with social challenges and presents a view of he world that resonates with people to this day.  Regarding how we should think about ourselves relative to others and how we should think about our own joy Aurelius wrote the following.

 

“He who loves fame considers another man’s activity to be his own good; and he who loves pleasure, his own sensations; but he who has understanding, considers his own acts to be his own good.”

 

Aurelius constantly focuses on the idea that we are independent from the actions, thoughts, and judgements of those around us. In his mind we may all be connected, but we choose how to allow others to move and shape our lives.  It is the way that we decide to think about the world and interpret the actions of others that determines how the actions of those around us impact us.

 

In the first part of the quote Aurelius is showing that those who desire fame and popularity depend on the thoughts of other people to find their happiness. To them, their own thoughts about themselves matter less than the thoughts that other people have of them.
In the second part, the Emperor explains that people who live for nothing other than their own pleasure have submitted their own independence to material things or physical pleasures. Their enjoyment and life’s meaning comes from what they can obtain as opposed to a recognition of who they are.  They have made the world around them more important than themselves, and their value and happiness is based not on the person who they are, but on the items in their lives that make them happy.

 

Lastly, Aurelius argues that those who bring rational thought into all aspects of their lives are the most fulfilled. Since we all determine through out own thoughts what is good in our lives and what is bad, what is going to help us and what will harm us, and what is important and what is not, we have the power to determine how we see the world.  The people who base their lives on rational thought are able to reflect on what happens around them and rely on their own decisions and actions to find happiness. They may find some level of fame and material well being, but rather than finding inspiration in things and popularity, they are inspired and moved by the things that they can do to better themselves and others.  They are not dependent on others for their own happiness because they understand who they are, and have an ability to determine how they react to the world around them.

What is in Our Control

Posted on by jabittan
In his commonplace book, where he recorded his thoughts, ideas, and lessons about the world, Marcus Aurelius wrote that we can approach the world and choose to interpret the world in ways that will either open new doors for us and improve our perspectives, or we can interpret the world in ways that limit our power to influence and shape our lives.  For Aurelius, being able to control your actions and thoughts about the world was paramount as it determined what your experience during your life would be.  He adopted the philosophy of stoicism and his writings show us how he was able to think about the world in more productive manners.  When it comes to thinking about what we control and have direct choices and influence over in our lives he writes,

 

“Show those qualities then which are altogether in thy power: sincerity, gravity, endurance of labor, aversion to pleasure, contentment with thy portion and with few things, benevolence, frankness, no love of superfluity, freedom from trifling magnanimity. Dost though not see how many qualities though art immediately able to exhibit, in which there is no excuse of natural incapacity and unfitness, and yet though still remainest voluntarily below the mark?”

 

It is easy to become caught up in the world or the routines of our daily lives and forget how many choices and decision we have the ability to make in a day. What Aurelius is explaining in the quote above is that we will always be sovereign over our own minds, and we can always choose how we wish to behave and react in certain situations. When we fail to think about how we are interpreting the world, how we are reacting to what others say, and the ways in which we think about our position in the world, then we are forfeiting control of a major part of our selves. We give up the power to shape the direction of our lives.  What Aurelius advocates for is greater acceptance of the power of our minds, and the useful practice of empowering ourselves over the influences that are easy to allow to control our minds.

Judging Others Along Our Journey

Posted on by jabittan
Throughout Meditations, the book published after his death containing his writing and personal reflections, Marcus Aurelius focuses on the mind and our thoughts, and how we can use our thoughts to give us guidance.  Two areas that he returns to frequently are our life journey and how we think of our journey, and how we think about the people we interact with along our journey.  While writing Meditations he was continually reminding himself not to be judgmental of others and to remain focused on the positive in his own life.  His spirit is captured in the following quote which merges both of these ideas,

 

“How much trouble he avoids who does not look to see what his neighbor says or does or thinks, but only to what he does himself, that it may be just and pure; or, as Agathon says, look not round at the depraved morals of others, but run straight along the line without deviating from it.”

 

What he is saying is that those who begin to focus more on what those around them are doing begin to lose sight of their own lives and actions. When you continually worry if others are working as hard as you then your own work will suffer. If you focus on the things that other people have, you begin to depreciate the things that you have. These types of comparisons may help drive a capitalistic society today, but just as they were dangerous in the second century, in the 21st century they can detract from your overall life.

 

A better use of time and focus according to aurelius is to look inward and focus on presence.  Avoiding lingering thoughts of a gilded past or glorified thoughts of a potential future, we are better served and can make the most of our time on earth if we can focus on where we are now, and how we can make the most of our current actions.  Living with goals for the future and understanding and learning from the experiences that have shaped us is key, but when the past or future take over in our lives, then our current self becomes a less important afterthought.  Remaining present, and pushing worries about others behind us can allow us to participate in activities we truly enjoy, and to maximize the time in which we actually experience the world.  Aurelius continually encouraged himself and wrote down reminders to remain focused on the present, and to not let jealousy or worry over the actions of others detract from his own life.

Tranquility of the Mind

Posted on by jabittan
One of the main ideas in the philosophy of stoicism is the ability to control the mind and the thoughts that we have. When we practice stoicism we are building our self-awareness so that we can reflect on not just our actions and decisions, but also the thoughts that we have.  We are able to use an increased self-awareness to better organize our thoughts and begin to think in a better way.  Marcus Aurelius wrote a note to himself in his book that would be published as Meditations, and in his note he address the idea that we can build our mind up through thought and self-awareness to where we can have an internal place of safety and comfort. “Tranquility is nothing else than the good ordering of the mind,” Aurelius wrote in the middle of a passage about desire and distress.

When I first read and highlighted this quote I left myself a note saying, “no matter what happens around us, the mind can be peaceful and tranquil through the control of our thoughts.” This idea encompasses what Aurelius was writing about in the larger section from which I took this quote.  He is addressing the idea that we are sovereign over our mind and that no one can tell us how to think, what to think, how to react or feel, or how to behave in any situation.  For Aurelius, the idea of mental sovereignty meant that he had the power to control himself in any situation and that he could determine who he was in any situation.

Through meditation and self-awareness Marcus Aurelius explains that we can learn to become more egalitarian and magnanimous in our lives.  He encourages us to live comfortably and simply, and to not let ourselves be guided by passion as opposed to reason.  When we practice self-awareness we are able to recognize parts of ourselves that are not treating others fairly or are allowing other people to shake our mind. By focusing inward and recognizing our emotions and reactions we can change the way we think and the way we behave. Ultimately, this recognition will give us greater control and focus throughout our lives, and it will allow us to become more temperate and peaceful in our actions, decisions, and interactions with others.

Thinking of Others

Posted on by jabittan
Marcus Aurelius was the emperor of Rome during the 2nd century, and while he was leader he wrote down his thoughts in what would later be published as the stoic philosophy guide book, Meditations. A reoccurring thought for Aurelius and something he focused on from multiple perspectives, is the way in which we think about ourselves, those around us, and how we relate to others.  For Aurelius, comparing ourselves and our fortunes to that of others and those around us was one of the most dangerous things we could do. In Meditations he wrote down multiple notes reminding himself that he should focus inward and practice self-awareness as opposed to looking outward at others. His point is well explained by the following quote, “Do not waste the remainder of thy life in thoughts about others, when though dost not refer thy thoughts to some object of common utility.”

 

What he is explaining in this quote is the importance of focusing your thoughts toward useful and meaningful objects or goals. When we look at other people and spend our time wondering what they are thinking, feeling, or trying to accomplish, we are losing an opportunity to do something meaningful and powerful with our own thoughts.  Rather than finding a useful outlet for our focus, we are dialing in on forces we cannot control and cannot ever know. Thoughts about others should be centered around ways in which you can interact with them to reach toward a common goal, to improve society, or to do something that benefits the other.

 

To build Aurelius’ advice into our lives today, a practice of self-awareness is necessary.  For me, I try to focus inward and understand my thoughts while I am exercising or writing.  A reflective focus during these times helps me build a habit of being more present in my thoughts throughout the day so that I can better recognize when my thoughts are drifting into negative or wasteful areas.  It is a constant practice, and I need to be continually reminded to refocus my thoughts and outlook. I believe that Aurelius would have felt the same way in his life, after all, he felt the need to write these ideas down time and time again in his common place book.  Once we begin to better recognize our thoughts and feelings we can pause throughout our day to ask ourselves why we are thinking a certain way about those around us. We can begin to change those thoughts and to adjust during times when we sense our focus drifting toward gossip.

Act Accordingly – Origins in Stoicism

Posted on by jabittan
One of my favorite authors is Colin Wright and I thought of him instantly when I read the following quote in Marcus Aurelius’ common place book, Meditations, “Since it is possible that thou mayest depart from life this very moment, regulate every act and thought accordingly.” Back in August of last year I wrote about Colin Wright’s book Act Accordingly and the first sentence of his book which reads, “You have exactly one life in which to do everything you will ever do. Act accordingly.”  I love the fact that Wright borrowed from Aurelius, and I love the principle that Aurelius built into stoicism.

 

Act Accordingly means living in the present moment and understanding the choices and decisions that you make.  It involves self-awareness and self-understanding to know why we act the way we do and why we hold the beliefs that we do. The more we build a process of self-awareness and reflection the better we can navigate our world and achieve the results that we desire. The idea of acting accordingly means that we appreciate the life that we have and we are able to take meaningful steps to reach our goals.  When we act accordingly we pause, recognize what we desire, what is truly useful, and work to be conscious as we move through our days.

 

For Aurelius, act accordingly translated into a spiritual recognition and understanding that we will all pass away, and that our time is not just limited, but it is often unpredictably short.  His message is to be fully present in every moment, avoiding periods of time where you shuffle through life without focus and without intention.  When you recognize that any moment could be the end of your life you begin to cherish the time you have. An increased presence of mind can translate into a greater sense of fulfillment in every moment.

 

Wright’s approach to act accordingly draws from the stoic tradition that Aurelius helped build, but he includes modern frameworks that fit the life in which we live now.  He is focused beyond just the single moment, but he does not abandon the idea and importance of presence of mind.  Wright encourages his readers to build more focus on their lives and decisions, and to find a way to pull themselves out of autopilot.  What distinguishes the two writers is the way in which Wright focuses on freedom and building a life with the most abundant possibilities.  Wright explains acting accordingly as taking advantage of the time you have in your life, and consciously creating a system that allows you to have the most choices and possibilities.  For Wright, the best way to act accordingly is to be fully self-aware, understand what drives you, and to use those drives to move into situations where life can be flexible and open to greater possibilities.

 

Both authors base their thoughts of acting accordingly on the idea of self-awareness, but each shows a different way in which that self-awareness translates into the choices and decisions that we make.  Understanding that our time and our lives are limited helps us see the importance of maximizing our decisions, and helps us to understand that we must move forward in ways that best align with our self-reflections.  Focusing on acting accordingly will help you build a set of heuristics that guide your life toward goals that are responsible and meaningful.

Stoic Self-Awareness

Posted on by jabittan
The last couple of years for me have been a journey to better understand my thoughts, motivations, desires, beliefs, and assumptions. I began working on self-awareness after I realized that I did not fully understand the world and what was happening around me. Podcasts helped open my eyes and helped me see that there were many things that I did not fully understand and viewed from only one perspective. From that realization I began to see the importance of self-awareness.  I have continued to make self-awareness a major focus in my life, and Marcus Aurelius echoes my thoughts and feelings of reflection in his writings Meditations.

 

“Those who do not observe the movements of their own minds must of necessity be unhappy,” Marcus Aurelius wrote in regards to self-awareness.  By not focusing on ourselves and by not looking inwards, we are allowing ourselves to move through life without guidance and direction.  The way we think about the world and our position in the world is something we can change and control, but it is also something that can move and fluctuate on its own if we  are not careful. Aurelius is encouraging us to master our thoughts and explore those parts of us which make us who we are.

 

A powerful metaphor that I came across to better explain the importance of self-awareness and reflection came from a young author named Paul Jun. In his book Connect the Dots, Jun described the following metaphor. Think of self-awareness and focus like a flashlight in a dark room.  Your flashlight can illuminate a certain space, and the more narrow the focus of your flashlight the clearer the item you shine it at becomes.  But while you are focused in one area, everything else is obscured. When you begin to take a step back and shine that flashlight at a greater area you will see things that were hidden before.

 

For me, this idea of self-awareness and shining a flashlight of focus on areas that had been dark to my conscious helped me better understand many of the expectations and pressures that I lived with. I thought deeply about what my ideas were regarding success, and where those ideas came from.  I thought about what I expected myself to do as part of the identity I had developed for myself, and I thought about why I had those expectations.  Through a journey of self-awareness I was better able to understand my own morals, values, and principles which gave me the ability to see what things fit in with who I wanted to be and act accordingly.

The Reflections of a Stoic

Posted on by jabittan
Meditations is a work by Marcus Aurelius, the Roman Emperor from 161 to 180 AD. It is a collection of letters written by Aurelius in his common place book, a journal where he wrote his important thoughts and reflections so that he could return to them and always be cognizant of the lessons life had provided him.

 

Aurelius’ Meditations begins with the emperor reflecting on his childhood, his family, and his upbringing.  He lists lessons that he learned from those around him during his development, and what those lessons meant to him at the time he was writing.  As I return to Aurelius’ thoughts, I am struck by how well his work parallels ideas from Fred Kiel’s book Return on Character. I recently wrote about a study that Kiel completed as part of the research for his business book written over 1,800 years after Aurelius’ meditations, and I am struck by the overlap of the ideas.  Kiel argues that our most successful and responsible business leaders, those who provide the greatest value for those in their lives and the companies they run, are those who have a whole and complete understanding of themselves and the experiences that shaped their lives.  He argues that to be a truly moral and responsible individual you must be able to reflect on the influences that shaped your life, and understand how those influences shaped who you are today.  By understanding and having a complete life story you can better connect with people and be better prepared to lead through having a greater understanding of humanity and your place within society.

 

What Kiel wrote in his book in 2015, Aurelius clearly understood in the 2nd second century.  He explains how he developed the thoughts and ideas that shaped him, and he explains exactly where his character traits and habits come from.

 

The Emperor begins Meditations by writing, “From my grandfather Verus [I learned] good morals and the government of my temper” and he continues, “From my mother, piety and beneficence, and abstinence, not only from evil deeds, but even from evil thoughts; and further simplicity in my way of living, far removed from the habits of the rich.” Aurelius extends beyond family to show what lessons he learned from people in the society in which he lived, “From my governor…I learned endurance of labor, and to want little, and to work with my own hands…” “From Rusticus I received the impression that my character required improvement and discipline … nor to showing myself off as a man who practices much discipline, or does benevolent acts in order to make a display.”

 

The quotes above are key tenants of stoicism, and they struck me as very powerful when I first read Meditations. Aurelius explains what forces in his life shaped his thoughts and beliefs, and he continues  throughout his work to show how this backing helped him approach the world in a constructive and positive manner as he governed not only the Roman Empire, but his own mind and actions. Incorporating the ideas outlined above in his quotes can be very powerful in the way we approach others and apply ourselves toward the efforts and goals that we all have.  Remembering that character requires discipline and continual improvement helps us stay humbled in our relationships to others, especially if we can practice such discipline without making a great show or display of it.  When we can focus on these key concepts and understand what molded us into the complete individuals that we are today, we will be better prepared to react to a changing world, and we will better understand our role and place within our society.