Tag: Reactions

Acknowledging our True Selves

Posted on by jabittan
Colin Wright is a huge proponent of self awareness and ideas relating to self awareness. He advocates for recognizing ways in which our actions and ideas are shaped by our limited perspectives, draws attention to the parts of us we hide from ourselves and others, and he challenges us to rethink our goals and desires to become more aligned with our true personalities.  Throughout his book Considerations Wright brings all of these ideas into focus in ways which are very novel and were very new to me as I read Considerations.  Regarding self awareness and understanding our true selves he writes, “Reach deep and acknowledge the dark parts of who you are, then sand smooth or sharpen those aspects of yourself, just as you would with any bad habit or misfit trait.  It seldom serves us to conceal any part of ourselves, especially from ourselves.”

 

For me, Wright’s quote speaks about the importance of being honest with ourselves about the thoughts we have and the actions that result both explicitly or implicitly from those actions.  When we are able to accept that we have feelings, thoughts, or tendencies that run counter to our ideal self image, we are able to shift our focus to address those issues and make changes in our lives to grow for the better.

 

I think a fantastic example of this which I had to address myself deals with racism. I don’t think the majority of people in the United States would consider themselves to be racist or to discriminate against minorities, but unfortunately many people have an implicit bias that skews their behavior towards minority groups or individuals in a negative direction.  Within the first split second we meet another person we make judgements as to whether that individual can be trusted, is a good person, is successful, and whether or not they are someone we should interact with.  These thoughts and ideas race through our mind faster than we can recognize, and if we leave those thoughts unchecked, we may react negatively to another person, and those thoughts can materialize in small actions through body language, facial expressions, and through cordial or not so cordial greetings.  Without realizing it we may inadvertently frown at a member from a group to which we do not identify, or we may quickly advert our eyes, or possibly just not say hi or even acknowledge their presence.  None of these actions are explicitly negative or enough to classify any individual as a racist, but nevertheless, the person on the receiving end does pick up on the fact that they are not welcomed into your social circle.

 

What Wright in his quote above is advocating for is an understanding that we all have our dark spots like the situation I described. If we turn our attention inwards and focus a light on those dark spots we may not completely overcome them, but at least we can control them and manage the way they manifest in our lives.  Without accepting that we have these dark spots we live in an illusion where we have placed ourselves on a false pedestal. From our perch we risk inadvertently harming those around us by creating a blindspot in our actions. When we accept our shortfalls, we can identify new ways to move forward and become more egalitarian.

Testing Our Assumptions

Posted on by jabittan
As I have worked on self awareness and worked to be a more understanding person capable of seeing the world from multiple perspectives, I have become more aware of my first impressions and snap judgments of other people. An important first step in becoming a more integrated person is recognizing the impulse thoughts we have about others and understanding where those thoughts come from.  Colin Wright in his book Considerations addresses this idea and drives it to an even deeper level. He examines the structure of the brain and out thoughts to understand why we have developed these impulse thoughts, and he challenges everyone to recognize and push back against these often times hidden beliefs (emphasis mine):

 

“Testing our assumptions is an excellent way to see the potential in things and people we wouldn’t otherwise stop to notice.  A person with a black plastic trash bag could be a lot of things, and it’s worth considering more than just your first impression if you intend to be an active participant in your environment, rather than just a passive experiencer.”

 

When I first started working on mindfulness and recognizing my thoughts about others, including my immediate reactions, I constantly felt discouraged by my negative reaction to people of other races or who appeared to be homeless or in poverty.  I would scold myself for having a negative initial judgement, and then worry that my initial thoughts bled over to my outward attitude and behavior.  What Wright explains in his book is that these types of instant reactions are evolutionary left overs from a time when we needed to make assumptions about our environment and react quickly to avoid wild animals that could kill and eat us.  Our quick reactions, memory, and pattern recognition saved our ancestors, but now those same traits get in our way.  The best approach to improve our behavior is to recognize these thoughts and accept that we make poor initial judgments. Once we identify our behavior we can work to challenge and change our reactions.

 

I am particularly struck by the last part of Wright’s quote.  It shows that in order to be fully integrated with our environment and to find real meaning through our impact in the world we must challenge our beliefs to push ourselves to grow and have stronger interactions and relationships with everyone in society. The more we challenge our knee-jerk reactions and the more we push ourselves to be involved with those who we normally would not interact with, the more we will be able to connect with the world. Those new connections will shape us and push us to a point where we no longer need to worry about a negative emotion being noticed by people who are different from us.

Reacting to Invisible Forces

Posted on by jabittan
In a letter written to James Harmon to be published in his book, Take My Advice, writer John Shirley writes, “What if we’re a lot more unconscious than we know?  What if, even when we think we’ve got everything worked out and planned out, we’re actually, in certain ways, just reacting to things?”  In this quote Shirley hits on the idea of being present in the moment without directly stating it.  His quote talks about how much of the world is hidden from us and impacting our decisions, and how much is influencing us without our knowledge.  When we begin to work on being present in the moment, we become more aware of what shapes the decisions we make.
I recently read Grant Korgan’s book, Two Feet Back, in which he describes his recovery following a spinal cord injury.  What Korgan explains is that his injury gave him the chance to pause his goals, plans, and desires while he worked towards regaining feeling in the lower half of his body.  He explained that he went from being someone who tried to plan every part of his day and life, to someone who had to enjoy the simplicity and spontaneity of each moment.  His injury taught him the importance of being present in all that you do.
I think that Shirley’s quote speaks to the same understanding of presence that Korgan came to understand.  When we focus and plan each detail of our lives, we spend a huge amount of energy and effort in a single direction, and we are then not aware of the little things that sway and move us away from that direction.  When we focus on presence, we begin to understand what forces are trying to shape our coarse, and we can be more responsive to those events.  These forces that we may not be consciously aware of may push us towards our goal, though possibly towards our goal in what seems like a less direct path, or they may push us to new goals that ultimately align better with who we are.  Gaining presence helps us identify our emotions and reactions, and helps us understand our place relative to others.